I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
