I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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