I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
