I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize