Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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