ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
