Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
