The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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