Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
