She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
