actually, I'm a sock model
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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