bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize