Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
