We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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