u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
