handjob tips. give me some.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
