Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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