Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
