you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize