Me too!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize