After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize