Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
