break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
