i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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