after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
