we have officially lost it.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
