is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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