Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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