Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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