I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize