Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
