I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
