they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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