You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
