Apparently you make a good broom.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
it was like eating out sand paper
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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