tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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