So drunk, too bad you don't want this
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he shaved USA in his pubs
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
