dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
