just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I believe in your delicious
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
