Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
