He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I have tasted many bathrooms
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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