I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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