can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
