I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
me + whiskey = a bad person
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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