Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
