It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize