honey bunches of taint.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
