We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
