im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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