Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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