Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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