Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He did a backflip because drugs
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
