Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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