I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
