This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
