It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
