just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
