I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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