This girl is more easily done than said...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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