brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
