yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize