I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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