is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
