the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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